Love
by RoxisAngel
Summary: Viktoria, ruminating over the relationships in her family, discovers some bad news.


_This is set sometime after _Blood Promise_... or during _Spirit Bound_, because nobody bothered to alert Dimitri's family about his situation. (And I _so_ wanted Yeva to come and bitch at him for being so depressed over something that he _obviously_ couldn't control. Wasn't he always telling Rose to let things go and move on via those "zen life lessons" in the first three books?)_

_Sorry if the story is so ramble-y... I just had to get this out of my system._

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"Karolina, what does love... feel like?" Viktoria asks as the upstairs shower starts. Karolina's boyfriend has just come over, and Viktoria sees how the two look at each other. It's different from Rolan, more serious, even though Roman's hands always seem to be tugging at the hem of Karolina's sweatshirt, lightly touching the small of her back or splayed across her hips, thumbs hooked into the loops on her jeans.

Karolina joins her sister in the kitchen and starts to fill a pot of water for pasta. "It's different for everyone," she says, worry tugging at the corner of her mouth. Like everyone else, she feels bad for Viktoria, but completely lets Sonya off the hook for not telling anyone about Rolan. Viktoria is starting to think that they all know something she doesn't, but decides not to press the issue now.

"How so?" she asks.

Karolina shrugs, heaving the pot of water to the stove and lighting the burner. "Well, it's been different since I had kids, Paul especially." Viktoria nods. At first, Karolina used to go after men who were just good – good to her, good to her family – but now, in addition to that, he has to be a good role model for Paul, good with children in general. Roman is all three, plus Yeva knew his grandmother.

"How does it feel, though? Just being in the same room with him, I mean." Viktoria's had so many doubts over the past weeks – about her family, about herself, about Rolan especially – that by now, she just needs comfort. Someone to tell her that it will get better in time.

Karolina mused over that one for a long time, long enough that the upstairs shower shut off. "It feels right," she finally said as footsteps make their way down the stairs. "You know when you're out with your friends and totally high on all of the estrogen? That's what it feels like for me. Perfect – and without the chance of mood whiplash or silly drama to ruin everything."

As she says this, Roman comes in, hair making a damp patch on the back of his t-shirt, and his entire face lights up with a smile. He takes another step into the kitchen and wraps his arms around hers, simply holding her and breathing in the scent of her hair. Karolina relaxes as much as she ever does, reaching up to wipe away water that's dripped into his forehead and signaling to Viktoria that the water was almost boiling. Then, she smiles up at him and starts pushing him toward the stairs.

Viktoria looks away as they go. She knows they don't always have sex when they look at each other like that. Once, she had walked in on them lying on the floor and having a deep and meaningful conversation about bottle caps. Actually, almost everyone (sans Paul) has had an incident like that, and Viktoria wonders if the two do it on purpose.

As she puts the noodles in, stirring them so they don't clump together, she wonders if everyone will fall in love except her. Yeva had found love, staying (unofficially, of course) with Olena's father for almost a decade. Olena had found a nice man whom she called "just a friend" but had gone out on several dinner dates with. Karolina obviously had Roman. Sonya didn't want to date now, didn't think she could do it even after her baby was born, but there was a hopeful lingering in the background. Dimitri – Viktoria's throat tightens, both at the memory of her dead brother and the memory of how she'd treated his old girlfriend at the end of her visit – had found love, even if he'd tried to hide it. Paul looked so much like Dimitri that nobody was really worried – girls would throw themselves at him if he stayed nice. (Zoya's only a baby, too young of any predictions, so Viktoria gives the girl no thought.)

Viktoria is so obsessed with her own thoughts that she doesn't notice the pasta beginning to boil over, only coming out of her thoughts when Olena reaches over the stove and takes the lid off, releasing a cloud of hot steam. Shaken, Viktoria turns the fan on to suck the hot air away and steps away into the dining room. Cooking? She can do that, usually. But dealing with the disasters was totally out of her range of ability.

Yeva places a piece of paper into Viktoria's hands as she waltzes past to help finish dinner. Viktoria steps farther away from the door and opens it, trying to get her mind off of something else.

It's a family tree. With what looks like DNA tests under each name to back up the statements.

Viktoria can't breathe. Does Sonya know? Oh, God – if she did...

Her father had a lot of illegitimate children (and a single legitimate child who was probably more messed up than any of her half-siblings with broken homes). Viktoria knew that. But seeing them, all of the names... She felt like throwing up.

Rolan's name was on the list.

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_Hahaha... I just realized that I spelled Rolan's name wrong throughout the whole fic. I added a "d" at the end because my spellchecker doesn't think Rolan is a name and _of course_ I've written a fic about him before... I fail. But at least I fixed it! :D_


End file.
